Relationship Goals, Just Say No

No matter the social media medium, I can guarantee you this. At some point, you have seen the following two words hashtagged:  relationship goals. And I can say beyond the shadow of a doubt that it’s another sign of social media going too far. Or rather, people allowing social media to navigate their lives.

Just as every individual is different, every romantic relationship is as well. There is no one size fits all set of criteria that equates to one’s happiness as it relates to one partner. Hell, some people don’t even believe in having…one.

But in a day and time, where committed relationships are almost frowned upon by some. Grossly ignored by others. And thought to be prehistoric relics by even more– why trivialize it? Why look at a couple’s chosen snapshot of a singular space in time and fawn over it. That’s not #goals. Those are likes and more importantly, not reality.

Some may say, I’m putting too much into this. “My looking at a post or pic of a loving couple and replying with:  goals or relationship goals, is my way of showing love. My way of saying, I want someone I can do/say/feel the same way about.”

To that I say, you may be correct. However, what is the retort when #goals are:

  •  a web-celeb w/all the answers (according to millions of social media shares + RTs) gets into a public relationship and it ends abruptly?
  • a celebrity, married three times. Who makes a fairly substantial piece of their current fame and fortune off of relationship advice– and they’re sued by a former spouse?
  • that one popular couple in your circle, who posts something you and most love. But you forget how one of them days/months/a year prior were almost on the outs

At the end of the day, we must determine what happiness looks like in our relationships. And no one’s is perfect. Sure functional + nurturing relationships have some similarities:  love, happiness, be faithful, etc. But after that it’s a crap shoot.

SACRIFICE:  you up for it?

The social media post, that your favorite couple didn’t/doesn’t share with you.

What every amazing relationship stat or picture of a happy couple online doesn’t show you is, what it took to get to that moment. The disagreement earlier that day over something as trivial as unloading the dryer. Regularly cancelling one’s plans, to cater to an always busy or gone partner’s schedule. A significant other slow to address disrespectful in-laws, again.

For a society that can be as petty as “not being interested in someone whose text bubble isn’t a certain color” (jokes or not). Can you accept the bad necessary to attain perfect relationship levels? Are you built, to sacrifice the time, energy and pieces of yourself needed to acquire THAT/THEIR situation?


The only relationship goals that should matter = finding someone just as crazy enough to put up with your ass, as you are with them. All in the name of love & happiness. Redefined goals.

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