I wish I could see your faces right now as you’re reading this. But clickbait aside ladies, it’s true.
Disclaimer: this is not another man giving unguided advice. Merely some perspective, as requested by a friend.
Women are phenomenal creatures. Capable of doing some amazing things, and this is far from some new reality. This is a fact that has been proven across generations. Hell, before we continue, give it up one time for yourselves.
But somewhere in the past ten or so years, things have gone left.
In the I am woman hear me roar…I will not be slut shamed for something men have been doing since forever, of it all– the backbone of successful relationships was damaged. You, ladies, have essentially hurt yourselves when it comes to achieving an assumed, desired endgame. And all for the sake of living your best free spirited, sex positive life.
Men and Sex
For a large majority of men (say 99.999999999999%), sex is a means to an end. It is a physical release of energy. The achievement of a certain level of gratification via the engaging of our primal, carnal urges. Does it mean something more, when performed with someone we have feelings for? Absolutely. But not necessarily for all of the reason(s) that women might think.
Women and Sex
Are there women who enjoy sex strictly for the feeling it brings? Absolutely. Listen to me, SEX IS
GOTDAMN GREAT! But additionally, be it due to their individual upbringing, societal norms or even physical and emotional makeup– women generally speaking, view sex as a connection. To be done with someone they actually care about. Want to get to know better. Or love.
On one hand, women once again reclaimed their time and their power. Refusing to accept the negative tropes placed upon you all, thanks to woefully outdated social standards. Yet at the same time you gave men, generally speaking, what they want. Easier access without any real requirement to commit to anything more. Read: this is a gift.
In so doing, setting back the maturation and natural progression process of the single man. Which wouldn’t be an issue if this were say 2000. Or even the 90s. But it’s bad enough that the ideas of marriage and monogamy, have been thinkpieced to the high heavens and back 50-leven times. Add a new change in mindset to other variables (i.e. shrinking dating pools/options)– and the thought of living happily ever after as once written, begins to look more unattainable.
Stop fvcking so freely. No seriously ladies, the more things change, the more they stay the same. The yoni still rules the world, and if you decide to rollback the clock…trust. Men will follow suit.
Do you have to impose some 90-day rule for sex or abstain until your wedding day? Hey, whatever works for you and your situation, run with that. But I personally don’t think that’s necessary.
However, just as it has always been, you control how a man whose interested in you sees you. If it’s strictly a physical thing, be smart, stay safe and let it be that. But if you want something more potentially with a guy you’re dealing with, pump the brakes and make that man work a little bit. I mean, if men are already trash 😉…why make matters worse by setting fire to the situation (i.e. leading w/sex).
There’s no chance of obtaining that old school love like your parents and grandparents had, with a new millennium state of mind. Redefine what happily ever after means or look to the past for a foundation to the answer.