I Got 5000 One’s, but she won’t let me spend’em

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Ladies and Gentlemen… I have a question.

For those that don’t know, one of the major differences between men and women, is the fact that men are waaay more visually stimulated than women are. Thus why men are far more likely to end up at a strip club or party where strippers are to be in attendance. Now don’t get it twisted, I’ve seen my share of photos of women at strip clubs, getting all the way open with a male stripper. Like, “damn baby… are you aware I can see you (lol)? You need to adopt the man law, *when caught in uncompromising locations, no cameras are allowed (lol).” But c’mon now… men .. . strip clubs, it’s natural, lmao.

So my question:

– Ladies (single, in a relationship/married): what’s your take on men going to the strip club?
– Fellas (single, in a relationship/married): do you go? regularly? have you ever caught flack from your lady because of it?

Let’s go… speak on it.

19 thoughts on “I Got 5000 One’s, but she won’t let me spend’em

  1. I personally have never been to a strip club but I don’t knock those who have and do go either. If my husband wants to go I have no problems with allowing him to go but I’ll always give him the argument that I can ‘poppit like it hot’ (or try anyway), cook him a meal after and since we’re married he’s guaranteed to ‘get some’ w/ no $ingles required…hahaha
    Seriously tho, I know strip clubs are all about ‘the fantasy’ so I say, “by all means fellas, go ‘head get your fantasy but don’t let me/us find out you’re having private conversation with these strippers, getting thier numbers/ business cards and buying thier story of how they’re only doing it to get through school or we will have a problem…


  2. I have no problem with mine going to strip clubs. Shyt, I’ve gone with him and had a damn good time.

    I’m not trying to change no man or keep him from doing what he does. We all know that doesn’t work. As long as there’s some self control and he brings that stimulation home to me…..I’m good.

    And I think that the same way some men, and i say SOME (lol) step into our world, meaning…”being a little more sensitive” and “spending more time with us” and “sharing their feelings”…we should step into theirs sometimes…it’s a give and take type thing..ya dig?

  3. YEAH J!!!

    She said, I have no problems with him going, but “I’ll always give him the arguement that I can ‘poppit like its hot’ (or try anyway), cook him a meal after and since we’re married, he’s guaranteed to ‘get some’ w/no $ingles required…” – yes HUH! That’s wassup. The rest of your reply was on pernt to tho.

    Not knocking any woman who is opposed to their men going to strip clubs, but I feel your response was very … forward thinking, mature and most importantly a SECURE one.


    m.lo said: “I’m not trying to change no man or keep him from doing what he does. We all know that doesn’t work. As long as there’s some self control and he brings that stimulation home to me…..I’m good.

    And I think that the same way some men, and i say SOME (lol) step into our world, meaning…”being a little more sensitive” and “spending more time with us” and “sharing their feelings”…we should step into theirs sometimes…it’s a give and take type thing..ya dig?”

    And there you have it right there.

    I appreciate the replies ladies.

  4. I don’t like my man going to the strip club… I have never liked it. And yes I have been to a strip club, with and without him. If it’s all about visual stimulation, then he should let me stimulate him. Shit, I look good, I’m willing to put on the heels and outfits and go hard. I don’t mind strip clubs, but I don’t see the need for my man to go.

  5. hey..I’ll say it again…lol..if MONTANA DELEON is working that nite..I’ll beeeeeeee theeeeeerrre…LOL…the end..

  6. DaVina, Cee Cee, definitely appreciate those replies. Add two more to the: No I don’t mind going, I have gone or would go with them also – LIST

    HEY NOW!!! lol


    Cooley High:

    you know what, I can’t even be mad at your response. My girl said, “yeah I have a problem with it, and if its about visual stimulation, I’ll get dressed up for him and make it do what it do, myself [paraphrasing].” You make a VERY valid point. I’m eagerly waiting for a male or female to slide thru and offer a rebuttal (if there is one).

  7. Hey there Likwid one – I see you!

    Anyway, if you would have asked me this question when I was with my 1st husband (who was a hound), I would have said oh hell no – I am not crazy about the idea of his too loose ass being all up in no strip club around a bit too much available bootay. Sorry. But see, that was quite a few years ago and my issues were more about THAT MAN than about THE CLUB, per se. Booty shakin’ ain’t hardly new.

    Now today, I say I really don’t have an issue with my other half occasionally going to the strip club with his boys. Key word: occasionally. Not on a regular basis. But front time to time, hey, whatever – so real worries about it. Why? Because #1, my confidence level is at an all-time high at this stage of my life. No, I am not the finest chick walking but I am STILL a bad mofo inside and out and any man who is with me should know and respect that. So this is not about competition between me and the strippers, ok? That shouldn’t even be the case. Secondly, the man I am with now naturally is attracted to T&A but not the the point where he acts like it’s new to him. Strippers (strictly for entertainment purposes) are fine with me overall. They provide a fantasy. They cater to the visual stimulation of men. If that’s as far as it goes, I have no issue with it. And when papa gets home, he knows what’s waiting for him and it AIN’T no fantasy, playa, feel me?

  8. I ain’t gonna sit up here and say it don’t bother me at all. It bothers a lot of women subconsciously, from men oogling at another woman’s body in passing, in magazines, movies, or whatever (jealousy is a natural reaction for humans period) but it is conditioned in us women to understand that males are the more visual creatures and that’s just the way it is and has been since doggone near the beginning of man. As long as he is looking and not touching, well you know the rest. Although the bible would say lusting is considered cheating, but uh, yeah, some would deem that debatable, but anyway…

    Now we have women all up in the strip club all in the name of equality and that’s why you see, um, well, yeah, lmao.

    Yeah, I aspire to go to a male strippa club, lmao, even if to get some good writing material and primarily see what the hoopla is all about. I’ve had a few opportunities to get wild eyed in a couple of events but something always prevented me from going but whatever…one o’ deez days, LOL!

    Anyway, enough of the digressing here.

    It is up to the Mr. to decide if he wants to go or not. And even though he runs it by me, I’ve never given opposition (if I ever do, there is a doggone good reason and 9 times out of 10, I won’t ever have to object because he will have already said no) and I’m good with that. Why? Because he has a healthy attitude towards the strip clubs and that is key.

    I know with the Mr. these days it’s mostly about the fraternizing and that he knows where true gratification lives- FOR him at home. And when a man finds that…well, the strip club just ain’t doing it like it used to anymore. Doesn’t mean a man won’t go, but at this point it becomes MORE about the fraternizing than about the body factor. And even further than that, a man may even, strictly on his own, decide to turn in his strip club balla card or at the least cancel his subscription from time to time.

    And on that note, with my Mr. I ain’t got no problem with the stripper club, no sirree bob, because I’m the queen bee up in his piece. The strip club ain’t got nothin’ on me. Un huh….yeah… done went to Training Day up in chere’….I’m like I ain’t scared of you muddaf*ccas! You don’t understand…shout out to the late great Bernie Mac right thurre.

    Let me get up on out of here, P.L. I’m in one of my other skins right now, and oooh, chile, this one can be something else! *cackling*


  9. Ladies and gentlemen… Lady Chi, lol.

    GET’EM GIRL!!! lmao !!!

    So is it safe to say, that it comes down to a matter of personal preference for you ladies? Or a matter of insecurity v. security?

  10. I think it’s all relative. Hell, we sit here and watch television and see good looking men and women all the time. My man knows who my celebrity hot fantasies are and I know his. It’s cool. I don’t get all wigged out over such all that. Now I know the strip club is a whole nutha talk show. Been to a few so I am not one of those women who just THINKS she knows what goes on in one – I’ve been to a few. Different type of clubs bring different forms of *uh* entertainment. That being said, I wouldn’t mind my man going to certain types where the talent and entertainment remain that. Rules are enforced. Lines are not easily crossed and crossing of line is not really encouraged. My man used to be a bouncer in strip clubs in a former life and even then, he was just not really like a dog with his tongue hanging out. OF COURSE he is going to look. Of course, he is going to do the “man thing”. That’s why they call it a man thing. Women don’t get it and largely we are not meant to. Just like men don’t why you would consider paying $300 for a designer bag. But I digress. The issue in this is what the man is going to the club for, how often he goes, and how he conducts himself. Frankly, I have gotten more contact on a dancefloor than some men get in a strip club so it is all very very VERY relative and subjective. *shrug* To each her reach (as my girl Sade would say), but as long as there is nothing obsessive about it, or as long as there’s “private dancing” or sex in the champagne room, I don’t stress. There should be a certain degree of trust in a relationship but you also don’t want to throw too much temptation into the mix either. You have to know the person you’re working with. If your man has a tendency to be a bit over-geeked about the strip club, chances are he needs to keep his ass home. Or better still, get you some stilettos, a thong and an IDEA, ok? LOL!!!!!

  11. *typing too fast*


    *had to clear that one up*

  12. Last two cents:

    Been to male strips shows and clubs for women. *Yawn* Now I am the type that IS very visually stimulated so I do love to look at sexy good looking men. But all the extra shyt that goes on at the clubs and most public stripper parties turns me off. Some of these women are off the meter. I have been to clubs for guys and have witnessed guys straight up chillin’. Drinking. Conversing. Giving the ladies some attention. Go back to chillin’ with their homiez. Throw some money around. Back to their homiez. Then out. I have NEVER seen this kind of casual lightheartedness at the shows for women. There seem to be the shy chicks who are open but scared or the ALL OUT chicks who act a damn fool and show out to the point of embarrassment. Totally uncouth and nasty. I don’t dig that at all. Maintain some friggin decorum already. Jeez. You ain;t getting none of that unless you pay for it anyway and that is just over the top. Sorry.

    That being said, I have gone to private parties with male strippers and they were cool. The mood was light. The women all knew each other. The guys were there to do a job and they did it. It was a lot of fun. A bunch of feathers were flying in the hen house and I know a lot of husbands and boyfriends benefited from the after-effects.

    That works.

  13. Simultaneously, I could prefer that he not go but still feel secure about him going to a strip club…just don’t agree with it.

    For instance, I’ve lived a large portion of my life on the religious tip and from that standpoint, it would be a PREFERENCE, and not an demand, that he does not go. This would have nothing to do with insecurity but everything to do with our walk together in the eyes of the Supreme One.

    However, since I’m not there yet, I’m cool with it. In American culture, sex is king in our society and men going to the strip clubs is now generally accepted and has been subtly interwoven into the fabric of the average American relationship, which of course begs tolerance and in some cases, embraced and participated in by the opposite sex.

    I am a secure woman by nature (which is half the victory) but at the same time, my security WITHIN my relationship is completely and thoroughly nurtured and maintained by the Mr., respectively. Whether I agree with him going or not, I trust him to regulate himself out of his love and respect for me as he already does on his own, and I of course, do the same for him.

    So, it’s about security vs. insecurity for me and how that scale balances out depends upon the mindset of the woman…and her man.


  14. Intriguing

    Well from what I’ve read of these replies, it definitely seems to be a case-by-case, relative type of situation. I’m sure there are more women that are against their man hitting the strip club, but from the replies I’ve received… the resounding sentiment seems to be, “yeah sure he can go.”

    A sense of security, confidence and trust, ultimately trumping a need or desire to understand the males need for visual stimulation. Please correct me if I’m seeing this wrong. Appreciate the further clarification and comments on prior statements ladies.

  15. Yes, I would say that is correct, P.L.

    We must realize, that everyone is different and therefore when two different people with many things in common get together, the relationship itself will have it’s own ‘personality’, style, signature; its own fingerprint. There are commonalities, but generally what works for one couple may not work for another. That’s why I don’t believe in comparisons, but whatever, that’s neither here, nor there.

    But check this out; every lady in here, including me, generally said, ‘yeah, he can go…’ except one that flat out said, ‘naw, I don’t see the point’. However, all our reasons varied as to why we supported it or not. Not one single answer was exactly the same. Why? Because there is no real right or wrong here. All of our personalities and backgrounds are not the same and therefore our opinions wil not be exactly the same. And what is right or wrong only fits for OUR reality and OUR relationship. Not for another’s.

    But there is a common thread that ties us to together. At some point, we will ALL have to C-O-M-P-R-O-M-I-S-E or keep it moving to a man that totally fits our ideals which should be done BEFORE you get invested in a relationship with a man. And the same thing goes for a man.

    It’s like Queen mentioned above, you as a woman is used to spending $300 on a pair shoes, say once a month and he’s like WTF? Why? You got 100 other pairs, etc. Aww, hell naw you gotta stop shopping, give me the credit cards, etc …no…that will breed resentment.

    Here is the compromise: ‘Okay, baby, I just really think we can save some money around here for a trip or two or braces for little Nay-Nay, if we shave here and there. Can we start with shopping? How about this, you spend that same $300 but every six months or spend $150 every four months? And I’ll…….’

    Just because a man doesn’t understand his woman’s spending habits, nor agree with it, he must respect that this is what she was doing before he met her and should expect that it will continue and therefore compromise. And she to keep him comfortable and for the peace and common good in their relationship should strive to reach that middle ground.

    So, as much as we may or may not agree with a man going to the strip clubs, no matter what our stance is, we know we have to compromise. The only thing you CAN do is ask him to do is respect you as his woman and govern himself accordingly.

    Yup, here is the compromise: ‘I don’t understand it, but I know this is something you are into, but however, I will expect you to not do x, y, z. He is to give his word, you are to trust in it, ( if you can’t trust in it, then it’s doomed right out the gate) and he is to not betray your trust and understand that he will be held accountable, and in what way, which means responsibility on his part. Then you let go; let live; be secure and let God.

    Now, if a man has been in a relationship with you and all of a sudden he LIVING up in the club whether he may or may not been interested in it before then he is going through some changes or something is amiss for him and it needs to be addressed asap.


  16. Oh dag, that should be spend $150 on shoes every three months, lmao. Quarterly.

    And please do excuse the typos and such.

    Totally distracted earlier….

  17. I have no problem with a s/o going to the strip club. If I am in a relationship, that means I trust whomever it is that I’m with and that also means he can go where he wants to enjoy himself, conduct himself accordingly, and bring his butt home. I have benefited from a man going to the strip club and then coming home and treating me VERY RIGHT…because he was so excited. Similarly, I’ve gone to a male strip club and treated a s/o very right after. I say ENJOY the fantasy and then bring that good stuff home! It can spice things up from time to time!

    Now, on the flip side, if a man was going to the strip club every day or several times a week and spending a lot of our money on strippers, there would be problems…because I believe his time/money could be far better spent on other things.

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