The internet doesn’t love you. Your cellphone hates you. And all of the premium, elite level, personal content you provide to the world– is one comment, like or DM away from wrecking your love life.
Congratulations! Your followers and LIKES count is swole though.
Social media in today’s day and age, seems to be as necessary as breathing—even though it’s really not. We’ve let it become so intertwined into our daily fabric, that right after sleeping and eating, sharing something about ourselves is right up there in the hierarchy of necessities. And a lot of us, myself included, even try to mix those.
But our relationships though? Ladies and gents, we have to do better.
A romantic relationship at any level, is between two individuals (“Big Love” and open situations aside). Social media is used for a number of reasons, but for the sake of this post, let’s say: networking, communicating with large audiences, and as an escape/for fun.
Question. If you can network, communicate and have fun with your boo boo offline– then what is the purpose of mixing your IN REAL LIFE, OFFLINE romantic dealings with the digital world? Watch this now. Answer. There is no reason for you to, other than to show off.
What’s wrong with that, you may ask. Absolutely nothing. You should never be ashamed or feel as though you have to keep your relationship a secret. Gotdammit, if you want to share your love with the world– then word to Mary J. Blige, you should. However, when you fully disclose what goes on with you and yours, you invite any and every one into your situation.
That’s unwanted opinions. That’s jealous people. That’s negative energy. That’s spies (i.e. your friends, their friends, your ex’s, their ex’s, your fans, their fans, etc). That’s drama that spills off the screen and into the real world.
So how do you avoid all of this? One of two ways. The first, is just like abstinence. Don’t use the same platforms. And if that’s too much to fathom, then your other option is to friend/follow your mate, but don’t stalk them. With all of the actual people you as an individual know and all of the strangers (both real and fake) in cyberspace– you really shouldn’t have time to keep tabs on another adult that you aren’t being paid to spy on.
Not to mention, there’s school and/or work and/or kids and/or I don’t know…living your life as someone who isn’t the parent of the person you’re also sleeping with. Just a thought.
A relationship isn’t about talking to someone all day long, everyday. Nor is it about watching their and other’s interaction level on the net. If you can’t go 4-6 hours without worrying about someone sneaking and creeping, why the f—…sorry. You should not be with them. This post isn’t for you. You should just stop reading right now and wait for the “What the hell am I doing?” post (I can make that happen by the way, just let me know).
Your mate deserves space.
You deserve space.
And tell your friends not to come tattling to you every time your significant other clicks LIKE or posts an emoji. You bums go find some business. Now if they are being blatantly out of pocket, then that’s different. But get your people off retainer.
If you want to chat with your man/woman, pick up the phone and call them. Shoot over a text or two or three. Fire off an email. And if you must, jump in those DMs and say what you have to. But then treat them like a total stranger, and X out of the screen.
Just because you love someone or even just LIKE them a little bit, why do you feel the need to digitally tell the world, 24/7 365?. Worry more about that one on one communication and save the show, for scripted reality TV. Stop getting into arguments online. Stop posting online about, what he/she said or did that pissed you off. Stop sweating them about their online relationship status. Stop reading folks the riot act, because of something that happened or was read online. Notice a theme here.
Don’t make your love life any more complicated than it has to be. If you want to occasionally share your relationship dealings with the world, cool no problem. But the moment you allow cyberspace to become the consistent and constant third party in you and yours pairing…TRUST, one or more of your “friends” is patiently waiting for that status update.
Relationship status: It’s Complicated
previous related postings: “Single Friends…Be Quiet” | “Married- What About Me?” | “Stop Giving Relationship Benefits…” | “Your Savior is Here”