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I Got 5000 One’s, but she won’t let me spend’em

I Got 5000 One’s, but she won’t let me spend’em

Nov 5, 2009


Music Videos

I’M TRYING TO GO TO THE CLUB, CUZZO!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen… I have a question.

For those that don’t know, one of the major differences between men and women, is the fact that men are waaay more visually stimulated than women are. Thus why men are far more likely to end up at a strip club or party where strippers are to be in attendance. Now don’t get it twisted, I’ve seen my share of photos of women at strip clubs, getting all the way open with a male stripper. Like, “damn baby… are you aware I can see you (lol)? You need to adopt the man law, *when caught in uncompromising locations, no cameras are allowed (lol).” But c’mon now… men .. . strip clubs, it’s natural, lmao.

So my question:

- Ladies (single, in a relationship/married): what’s your take on men going to the strip club?
- Fellas (single, in a relationship/married): do you go? regularly? have you ever caught flack from your lady because of it?

Let’s go… speak on it.

19 comments

  1. Ladies and gentlemen… Lady Chi, lol.

    GET’EM GIRL!!! lmao !!!
    =============

    So is it safe to say, that it comes down to a matter of personal preference for you ladies? Or a matter of insecurity v. security?

  2. I think it’s all relative. Hell, we sit here and watch television and see good looking men and women all the time. My man knows who my celebrity hot fantasies are and I know his. It’s cool. I don’t get all wigged out over such all that. Now I know the strip club is a whole nutha talk show. Been to a few so I am not one of those women who just THINKS she knows what goes on in one – I’ve been to a few. Different type of clubs bring different forms of *uh* entertainment. That being said, I wouldn’t mind my man going to certain types where the talent and entertainment remain that. Rules are enforced. Lines are not easily crossed and crossing of line is not really encouraged. My man used to be a bouncer in strip clubs in a former life and even then, he was just not really like a dog with his tongue hanging out. OF COURSE he is going to look. Of course, he is going to do the “man thing”. That’s why they call it a man thing. Women don’t get it and largely we are not meant to. Just like men don’t why you would consider paying $300 for a designer bag. But I digress. The issue in this is what the man is going to the club for, how often he goes, and how he conducts himself. Frankly, I have gotten more contact on a dancefloor than some men get in a strip club so it is all very very VERY relative and subjective. *shrug* To each her reach (as my girl Sade would say), but as long as there is nothing obsessive about it, or as long as there’s “private dancing” or sex in the champagne room, I don’t stress. There should be a certain degree of trust in a relationship but you also don’t want to throw too much temptation into the mix either. You have to know the person you’re working with. If your man has a tendency to be a bit over-geeked about the strip club, chances are he needs to keep his ass home. Or better still, get you some stilettos, a thong and an IDEA, ok? LOL!!!!!

  3. *typing too fast*

    CORRECTION – AS LONG AS THERE IS NO PRIVATE DANCING OR SEX IN THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM

    *had to clear that one up*

  4. Last two cents:

    Been to male strips shows and clubs for women. *Yawn* Now I am the type that IS very visually stimulated so I do love to look at sexy good looking men. But all the extra shyt that goes on at the clubs and most public stripper parties turns me off. Some of these women are off the meter. I have been to clubs for guys and have witnessed guys straight up chillin’. Drinking. Conversing. Giving the ladies some attention. Go back to chillin’ with their homiez. Throw some money around. Back to their homiez. Then out. I have NEVER seen this kind of casual lightheartedness at the shows for women. There seem to be the shy chicks who are open but scared or the ALL OUT chicks who act a damn fool and show out to the point of embarrassment. Totally uncouth and nasty. I don’t dig that at all. Maintain some friggin decorum already. Jeez. You ain;t getting none of that unless you pay for it anyway and that is just over the top. Sorry.

    That being said, I have gone to private parties with male strippers and they were cool. The mood was light. The women all knew each other. The guys were there to do a job and they did it. It was a lot of fun. A bunch of feathers were flying in the hen house and I know a lot of husbands and boyfriends benefited from the after-effects.

    That works.

  5. Lady Chi /

    Simultaneously, I could prefer that he not go but still feel secure about him going to a strip club…just don’t agree with it.

    For instance, I’ve lived a large portion of my life on the religious tip and from that standpoint, it would be a PREFERENCE, and not an demand, that he does not go. This would have nothing to do with insecurity but everything to do with our walk together in the eyes of the Supreme One.

    However, since I’m not there yet, I’m cool with it. In American culture, sex is king in our society and men going to the strip clubs is now generally accepted and has been subtly interwoven into the fabric of the average American relationship, which of course begs tolerance and in some cases, embraced and participated in by the opposite sex.

    I am a secure woman by nature (which is half the victory) but at the same time, my security WITHIN my relationship is completely and thoroughly nurtured and maintained by the Mr., respectively. Whether I agree with him going or not, I trust him to regulate himself out of his love and respect for me as he already does on his own, and I of course, do the same for him.

    So, it’s about security vs. insecurity for me and how that scale balances out depends upon the mindset of the woman…and her man.

    L.C.

  6. Intriguing

    Well from what I’ve read of these replies, it definitely seems to be a case-by-case, relative type of situation. I’m sure there are more women that are against their man hitting the strip club, but from the replies I’ve received… the resounding sentiment seems to be, “yeah sure he can go.”

    A sense of security, confidence and trust, ultimately trumping a need or desire to understand the males need for visual stimulation. Please correct me if I’m seeing this wrong. Appreciate the further clarification and comments on prior statements ladies.

  7. Lady Chi /

    Yes, I would say that is correct, P.L.

    We must realize, that everyone is different and therefore when two different people with many things in common get together, the relationship itself will have it’s own ‘personality’, style, signature; its own fingerprint. There are commonalities, but generally what works for one couple may not work for another. That’s why I don’t believe in comparisons, but whatever, that’s neither here, nor there.

    But check this out; every lady in here, including me, generally said, ‘yeah, he can go…’ except one that flat out said, ‘naw, I don’t see the point’. However, all our reasons varied as to why we supported it or not. Not one single answer was exactly the same. Why? Because there is no real right or wrong here. All of our personalities and backgrounds are not the same and therefore our opinions wil not be exactly the same. And what is right or wrong only fits for OUR reality and OUR relationship. Not for another’s.

    But there is a common thread that ties us to together. At some point, we will ALL have to C-O-M-P-R-O-M-I-S-E or keep it moving to a man that totally fits our ideals which should be done BEFORE you get invested in a relationship with a man. And the same thing goes for a man.

    It’s like Queen mentioned above, you as a woman is used to spending $300 on a pair shoes, say once a month and he’s like WTF? Why? You got 100 other pairs, etc. Aww, hell naw you gotta stop shopping, give me the credit cards, etc …no…that will breed resentment.

    Here is the compromise: ‘Okay, baby, I just really think we can save some money around here for a trip or two or braces for little Nay-Nay, if we shave here and there. Can we start with shopping? How about this, you spend that same $300 but every six months or spend $150 every four months? And I’ll…….’

    Just because a man doesn’t understand his woman’s spending habits, nor agree with it, he must respect that this is what she was doing before he met her and should expect that it will continue and therefore compromise. And she to keep him comfortable and for the peace and common good in their relationship should strive to reach that middle ground.

    So, as much as we may or may not agree with a man going to the strip clubs, no matter what our stance is, we know we have to compromise. The only thing you CAN do is ask him to do is respect you as his woman and govern himself accordingly.

    Yup, here is the compromise: ‘I don’t understand it, but I know this is something you are into, but however, I will expect you to not do x, y, z. He is to give his word, you are to trust in it, ( if you can’t trust in it, then it’s doomed right out the gate) and he is to not betray your trust and understand that he will be held accountable, and in what way, which means responsibility on his part. Then you let go; let live; be secure and let God.

    Now, if a man has been in a relationship with you and all of a sudden he LIVING up in the club whether he may or may not been interested in it before then he is going through some changes or something is amiss for him and it needs to be addressed asap.

    L.C.

  8. Lady Chi /

    Oh dag, that should be spend $150 on shoes every three months, lmao. Quarterly.

    And please do excuse the typos and such.

    Totally distracted earlier….

  9. I have no problem with a s/o going to the strip club. If I am in a relationship, that means I trust whomever it is that I’m with and that also means he can go where he wants to enjoy himself, conduct himself accordingly, and bring his butt home. I have benefited from a man going to the strip club and then coming home and treating me VERY RIGHT…because he was so excited. Similarly, I’ve gone to a male strip club and treated a s/o very right after. I say ENJOY the fantasy and then bring that good stuff home! It can spice things up from time to time!

    Now, on the flip side, if a man was going to the strip club every day or several times a week and spending a lot of our money on strippers, there would be problems…because I believe his time/money could be far better spent on other things.